Crochet What...?

I posted earlier this year about my new hobby, trying to crochet, in my post "Crochet My..."

Needless to say I haven't become much more successful. I've had very little difficulty with patterns for flat objects such as wash cloths, scarves, and so on. However when we get into the three dimensional universe... I simply can't get the trick!

Here's the first hat that I attempted to make... please note that not only does it look HORRID but I had already taken it apart and re-crochet it multiple times.

Alas this is when I learned that the gauge is important. I bought a set of different needles and tried again. but now, they're all coming out FLAT! People keep commenting on how "Jewish" they look. I do admit, most of them look like little Kippas.

pattern from Little Monkeys Crochet

 

I'm ready to throw the towel in... I follow these patterns to the letter but obviously, I am missing some sort of knowledge despite my extensive YouTube research.

 

Maybe this just isn't the hobby for me...