Tuesday, February 4, 2014

But Today... Week 22

There's so many things I want to write about right now. Many titles come to mind; "pregnancy, the good the bad and the ugly," or "things they never tell you." The list goes on and on.

Week 22 brings on the first wave of severe discomfort and frustrations with my body's new limitations, I don't think I can complain about it enough. 

I write with a certain amount of restraint for I know many women who would love to be mothers at all costs that cannot have children for various reason. Even the women who are mothers compel me to look to the future when I can hold my bundle of love and joy as the memories of pain and discomfort dwindle in my mind. 

But today it really sucks! 

Sorry little Roo, mommy loves you and she's so glad you're coming, but do you really have to take over every aspect of my body? 

One of the harder aspects of pregnancy, I believe, is your marriage! I kind of thought things wouldn't change much between conception and the visit from the stork, but I'm quickly learning marriage is ever changing, every moment.  It's difficult for husbands to understand what is going on, what is changing, and what to do about it all. At first they can be so proactive by researching and being patient with you. But that can wear off as the novelty fades and the months drag on. 

This is not of the husbands fault in any way of course. Women have an ever present reminder of pregnancy... Their body is continually making changes, then there's a little person inside of you kicking at all hours of the night, just in case you fell asleep and forgot about him. For the dad, it's way more difficult to change their expectations. It's easy to become complacent, even impatient  at times as the wife's body quickly limits her from a previously normal lifestyle. 

What's the secret dads? I haven't got a clue.  You'll haven't find the blog of a successful father to help you get a grip on it all. And ladies, there's nothing you can do but be patient with dad too. His life is changing. Things aren't the same any longer. Dinner isn't on the table like clock work, you're constantly nagging him to pick up items you can't bend to reach, and even the level of intimacy you once shared may be different (although no one warns you of this...). 

I look forward to when it "clicks" for my husband. Most first time mothers attest to the fact that this usually doesn't happen until dad feels the baby kick for the first time, or even until delivery when reality comes crashing down. I really do feel bad for dads. Moms that have the whole nine months to accept the reality, their body is screaming at them every hour of the day that everything is different. Dad only gets a dropped fork or a sobbing wife from time to time to bring him back to the true reality. 

So patience. That's what week 22 has to offer as a challenge for me. Patience in waiting for Roo to arrive, patience with my husband who loves me whole heartedely, patience even with myself as my limitations grow with every inch of my expanding belly. 

One day I'll look back and remember how different and beautiful life became when Roo came into our lives. When that day comes, I will know it was all worth it... But today it sucks. 

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